Another view of how to handle Adoption

*** This post is not to argue the ethical reasons for adoptions costs. It is merely tips to help someone if they are faced with fees and advice that can be costly.***
Photo cropped from advertisement. Not claiming as own.

There are many ways to work through the hassle of adoption. Everyone has advice and yet every situation is different. The fees associated to adoption often make many people freeze in their footsteps. Sometimes taking a view from a different angle will help. Regardless if you are adopting from Foster Care, Private/Agency or Internationally, you will pay for something. (I am aware that some counties in America do not require people to pay fees for adoption from foster care. My county does have a fee schedule.) Check out a few tips below on how to handle adoption advice and surprising fees.

Beware of Costly Advice

The first piece of advice I can give is to not take other’s advice to heart for your own adoption. Yes, even this advice. We were advised not only by people we know, but by an agency of what they think we should do. We wanted factual information about private/agency adoption as well as international and foster care adoption to determine our route. If we had followed all the advice that was given, we would have been gravely misled. Match your research to your advice and THEN make a decision.

Don’t Forget, It Keeps Changing

I have cousins that adopted children in North Carolina, and Ohio. We are adopting in Minnesota. The laws not only differ by state but each state has updated their laws recently. My little cousins were adopted 12 and 6 years ago. Things have change and you don’t want to delay your process by following advice from years ago. I would love if the US standardize the adoption process so that the law doesn’t waiver from state to state, but on the lists of priorities in this country, this is certainly not at the top.

Set your own limits

My cousin gave me this advice and I hold it true. There is a limit to how much time, money and distance you are willing to go to adopt a child. You do not want to be taken advantage of, so set a limit. Set a limit on how much and how often you want to be bothered by social workers. Set a limit on openness of details with those around you. Think every limit through with your partner and make a solid plan.

Emotions Costs too

Adoption is full of grey areas and within those grey areas are undetermined amounts of emotion. When emotions are in play, costly or wrong decisions can be made that would have an effect later on. For example, a lady and her husband have traveled hours from their home twice only to return home without a baby. This has resulted in an increase in travel expenses, baby product purchases and agency fees. Their emotions could have caused emotional overspending, days of work and more. On the flip side, you can over spend on birth mother expenses or time away from work or other tasks all in the name of love, happiness, sympathy, fear, etc. Just keep an eye out on what you typical do when your emotions run wild.

I hope these few tips give you a wider peek into how to view a different side of adoption advice and costs. These were tips that I picked up along the way and wanted to gather into one place.

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