I am Infertile, Now WHAT?!?!
No matter if its a phone call or in office consultation, the news of being labeled "Infertile" stings like a wasp. Not a bee, but a never ending, stabbing, jab of a wasp. So many questions flood your mind. Your whole body twitches with confusion. Is this true? What does this mean? Is this permanent? Did the doctor make a mistake? What do I do now?
This is the point when the internet become our friend. My Hubby and I ran home and looked up everything about infertility. We were desperate to know the statistics and rather our generation, age, race and even our genetics would determine a better outcome. (Side note: we had a clue that we might face problems as previous generations on both sides of our families had fertility issues.) Nothing was stopping us from learning what we could do next. There was a million, probably tens of millions of infertility studies, experiences and even jokes plastered all online. We found hundreds of "miracle" pregnancies that came out the blue to the most popular artificial reproductive technologies (ART) that resulted in a pregnancy. We were filled with hope. Many of you are filled with hope that you will be like those lovely couples that conquered infertility.
So Hubby and I pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps, wiped our tears and began to decide what route we wanted to take. We analyzed each and every possible way there is to have a child. We even discussed being child-free. We mulled over the cost, the time frame, and the probability of success. Did I mention I was a numbers nerd?
We never realized that the road we were on was going to be long and full of surprises. We never thought that there will be a plethora of emotions that would creep into our hearts and minds. We unknowingly walked around with set thoughts and feelings about each step of the way. Luckily, I am married to a therapist and one that isnt afraid to treat me and himself as a client. We often did emotional checks and balances with one another. We realized that there arent many resources available for couples that are suffering from infertility. The emotions of infertility aren't "fixed" just over night. Depending on the choices made by the couples, infertility would never be "fixed". A lady from a fabric store, expressed her gratitude to my mother that we are adopting a child. She said that her husband never wanted to try ART procedures nor adoption. She shed at tear and stated that it still hurts at 50 plus years old. YIKES! Talk about never being satisfied with a choice made.
So Hubby and I set out to learn more about the emotions that infertility has had on people. We wanted to know what was their hardest part and is their greatest fear. We wanted to know what created a divide between them and their loved one and what brought them closer together. If you are new to infertility, you might be surprised to learn that this matter can completely tear apart a couple. If one wants children and another doesn't, infertility can be a blessing to one and a curse to the other.
Please answer the survey questions to the left.We have been battling infertility for over 5 years. We have moved on to building our family in a nontraditional way, but we know that others have not. I totally understand that it is hard to move forward with the invasive, unromantic ART procedures or adoption process. We hate for people to not move forward in the direction that is best for them!
We will be combining the answers to the survey questions to create a creative guide to fighting the emotions of infertility. Stay tuned!
We wish you luck on your journey to being free from the sting of infertility!
So how have you been dealt with infertility? Tell me Below