When #4 Is A No-Go

I should have told you all that we were doing the 4th IUI procedure in December, but that was 2015. I was still about with the secret life of Maruki! Now that it's a new year I shall reveal more of who we are:

We did do try #4 on December 20, 2015. That sunny, cold Sunday was too exciting for us because I was finally getting a positive OPK during the normal time frame. That was Day 16 for me and I normal don't see a plus sign until Day 18. Let's blame acupuncture for this positive change. We ran into the RE's office 10am in the morning and finished the afternoon off at a NFL game. The game helped eased the pain for hubby, I believe.

Our two week wait wasn't that difficult. After all, we had Christmas and New Years during those days. We spent the times dreaming and making wishes for our future baby. We were explaining to our parents how exciting it would be to have a baby near my birthday or even in my birth month. We even discussed baby showers, car seats and diaper bags. We were generally happy to close out 2015 and enter 2016 as parents. Oh silly me! I should have known better...

These Damn Tests Cost too Much to keep getting a "NO"!

On January 3, 2016 we welcomed the new year with a blow. Not a blow out the candles and make a wish blow, but a blow to the ego, blow to the stomach and a blow to the head. It was Negative again! Did I mention that it was also Hubby's birthday? Yeah and all I got him was a baby, which I actually didn't have to give! 

We have been at this process for over 4 years and all we keep getting "No"!  

Did we cry? 
Did we curse? 
Like a F**king Sailor! 
Are we moving forward? 
Yes, we have no choice.

What makes Mr. Mind and I stay together during this rough patch in our relationship is that we know that it's not the end. There is and will always be another road to take. There is another option ahead. If we stop now, we will never be able to see what's ahead. This is not just meaningless advice that child bearing women give, but it's actually true. Science has enabled us to explore as many options as we can pay for (yeah, money might be the major roadblock.) Everything from IVF, IUI, ICIS-IVF, etc. can rob a couple of the opportunity to do things naturally and comfortably. It shouldn't be viewed as 'death sentence' or an end-all. When science and our bodies fails us, or if your heart leads you there first, couples always have the decision of Adoption or Child-free. 

The point is that we have to move from this crummy, horrible, tear-soaked place and move onto dry land where we can actually plant our feet on solid ground and get somewhere. The road keeps curving and new paths keep showing up. It is in our best interest to cry, kick and scream until it hurts then stop, shake it off and then keep positively moving. For there is always a 5th Try!

From Maruki,
P.S. We will only have a 5th Try...we're dead broke now!


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