A Better Attitude

If you read my post in January, you would have noticed how angry I was for not being able to start our family. Well, February and March has sung a new bright song that will be played out in April. Hubby and I were blessed with the ability to save some money to begin the first round of donation. We are holding our breaths that it would take on the first round. However, we are in a much better spot mentally. We had to see a reproductive/infertility psychologist. Ever heard of one of those? My husband is a social worker and was shocked that infertility is a field to go into. (I see another doorway in the future!)

This Doctor sat us down and went over every possible social and emotional issue that derives from infertility. She gave us an assortment of books to read and websites to visit. I was stunned to learn that not many of them are American sites. She stated that America is quite behind in certain types of infertility issues and that England and Australia are more progressive in their support systems for those that suffer in this manner.

There was a study done, I believe in Australia, that measured the stress levels for infertile couples/people and cancer patients. Infertile couples had higher levels of stress. WTH! The Doctor stated that the study revealed that secrecy plays a huge part in the stress levels. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, they often tell their family, friends, their jobs, and their social circles. When someone is diagnosed with infertility they don't tell anyone. I told my two best friend last August. We have been on this journey for years and they always thought that we were "enjoying trying". We finally told two church members last month when they kept asking during special praying time. Yet, we only told them infertility. They don't know which kind and which spouse has the issue.

Local news are always doing segments on Cancer survivors, but you won't see a segment on how to save your marriage (and sometimes life-suicide) when faced with infertility. Now don't go crazy on me and say that I'm comparing cancer to infertility. Cancer is a beast all on it's own. But infertility is often the cherry on top for cancer patients. It's the side effect for many medicines and procedures that people take to survive other health issues. Certain childhood diseases, surgeries and accidents might seem small and a great feat to overcome, but who would have thought that 15-20 years later they won't be able to reproduce?

With all that aside, we left the Doctor happy. Happy that we are mentally stable enough to more forward and happy that our path was clear enough to see an end. We will give the donation a try. We might do it once or twice, and then set our eyes and heart on adopting a child. We have alot of love and adventures to share. We are just getting started!


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