First Martial Trial

Our first marital trial is upon Mr. Mind and I. It hit us hard and fast. We had a small clue that things were going to get tough with infertility, but we had no clue how tough. There was plenty of self-blame and hurt; balled up fists and gritted teeth, but all was done alone. We never shared a thing with one another. Then one day, we had to give an another couple a ride and the wife was pregnant. Her comment about how it shocked them and had to tell her parents because they needed to know what to do next; brought about deep anger in Mr. Mind and I. We kept quiet all evening until we were alone and it all came pouring out. We both got to see how hurt, disappointed and angry we were. We just cried together. 

Speed forward a month and our pastor thought it was a wonderful idea to share in front of 8 other people that we asked for special prayer for infertility. I instantly grew mad, how dare he! Showcasing someone's else's pain is beyond rude. However, when I looked over at Mr. Mind he was happy. Three of the 8 people knew exactly what we were going through. They expressed their love, concern and prayers for us. The next week we were prayed for at the end of the service.

I cried like a baby during that special prayer, but I have been at peace with it. We are still in our trial, but we never fought, nor hurt each other. We haven't  placed blame nor got mad at one another. We both simply felt hurt that it was happening to us. But now, it's ok with us. There has been a bright side to this dark place we are in. Mr. Mind has finally let wheat go and has been exclusively gluten free all of 2014. He even gave up tomatoes which he believes causes many problems. His skin has been healing and his smile is brighter. Yes, we want a family, but I want a functioning and peaceful marriage more. Today, I am proud to say, we handled our first marital trial quite well. At least the first half of it!


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