Friday, September 26, 2014

Meal Planning at its Worst

If you tread through the internet, you will find a plethora of meal planning ideas and calendars. Families have planned out everything they want to eat from breakfast, to lunch to dinner. Some have gone as far as to predict when certain foods go on sale so that they can cut the costs of their meals.

The natural planning side of me has tried to jump on the bandwagon but I think my taste buds are stronger than me. The most I plan out is the week: Mon-Fri. I check the weather and the week's schedule and plan according to my freezer and the grocer's sales sections. I don't think it's a winning combination because I'm shopping every week and I often change how the meal turns out. This week our menu was:

Apple Cinnamon Muffins
Homemade Apple Sauce with bacon and eggs
Apple Dutch Pancake

Chicken Wings and Quinoa
Left Overs

GF Corn Chowder with ham
Cauliflower Rice Pizza
Steak and Onions with veggies
Beef and Cheese Quesadilla 

Apple Crumble

Now onto the changes! I didn't make the apple cinnamon muffins. I might try again next week. I also ran to the grocery store on Thursday to get the steak because I didn't buy it last weekend. I am going to try my best to plan all the meals for October. I will post it here. Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Big Mouths

Hubby and I have big mouths in our family. We have told our parents and best friends about our infertility within the past couple of months. It took alot just to do that.

Currently our cousins, aunts, grandparents and probably our uncles all know. People are calling to hear if the gossip is true and then try to figure out what to say to us. Someone people just wanted to know if we are ok. But for the most part, everyone is just shocked.

"Are you Sure?"

Yes, the couple that went the traditional route is infertile. The couple that dated for 5 years, engaged for 1.5 years and married for 3.5 years can't conceive. The couple that didn't want to live together before marriage. We have watched others from the sidelines for years. We held, fed and babysat everyone else's baby. We showered so many others. We are going stir crazy waiting for our turn.

"Just adopt!" 

A couple of cousins let the phrase roll off of their tongues quickly and as smooth as saying 'bless you' after a sneeze. Pardon us while we mourn the lost of having a biological child of our own. Excuse us as we try to figure out what life will be like for us now that we won't be able to feel a belly grow, or breastfeed. Give me a moment as we get every aspect of our lives, personalities and parenting styles questioned and analyzed. Just a second as go through the legal format to change the initial name because we weren't able to name them first.  Wait a year or two while we beg, borrow and save the $20k for a domestic adoption.

So everyone knows now that we aren't 'preventing' anymore. We aren't trying to be childless. We aren't trying to keep the 'high-life'. Actually we are a loving couple, broken and sad. Hurt and lost. Scared for our future. We have ideas and dreams, but no path to embark on them. 

Family: Now hurry, run and tell everyone that the Maruki couple is infertile. Just don't forget to request that they pray for us.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

My Island

I want to get away from the fertile world. I want to escape all things baby. I don't want to see a stroller, or a onesie, or a diaper. I don't want to drive pass a playground or baby boutique. I don't want to make a funny face for a smile or smile when they smile back. Please don't ask me to hold them. (Even though I want to.)

Is there an infertile (IF) island that people can move to? A place that's free of droll, cries and coos. A place that doesn't have little bows, tiny shoes and cute hats. Perhaps IF Island will have all things adult and readily available. Check your worries at the door and leave your IF problems at the door.

  • Toss aside crappy fruit punch and tired apple juice. You can drink all the energy drinks, coffee and liquor you want. 
  • The word 'baby' is abolished unless you are talking about your significant other. Call your wife Sexy and your husband Hottie. No one is judging. 
  • There will be no chicken nuggets, mushy peas or bland proteins. Adults have teeth and we have the right to use them.
  • Couple related activities will dominate the area. Date night is every night and there are no curfews (babysitters create these) nor early dinner times. Only elderly and babies eat at 4pm. 
  • You don't have to worry about "family-friendly" decor wrapped around your favorite burger joint. You eat and enjoy your company at a restaurant, not stare at the walls.
  • What's a Potty Mouth? If you want to say the word "damn!" without whispering go right ahead. 
  • Adults like being naked too! Hey, we can even have a nudist beach, pool bar and restaurant without a 'child' warning.

A Place Where We can Forget it All!
My island's only requirement is that if you get pregnant or adopt, you have to leave. Yes, you get booted off, voted off, eliminated. There is another couple waiting to take your place. There is another man or woman sadden by their infertility diagnoses and wishes to ignore and forget the whole thing. The rest of the world would love to coo and smile over that the new bundle of joy in your life. But us on IF Island are enjoying our mojito and spicy nachos, beach side, naked, while shouting 'What The Hell' at the latest game on tv.