Monday, April 6, 2015

A Better Attitude

If you read my post in January, you would have noticed how angry I was for not being able to start our family. Well, February and March has sung a new bright song that will be played out in April. Hubby and I were blessed with the ability to save some money to begin the first round of donation. We are holding our breaths that it would take on the first round. However, we are in a much better spot mentally. We had to see a reproductive/infertility psychologist. Ever heard of one of those? My husband is a social worker and was shocked that infertility is a field to go into. (I see another doorway in the future!)

This Doctor sat us down and went over every possible social and emotional issue that derives from infertility. She gave us an assortment of books to read and websites to visit. I was stunned to learn that not many of them are American sites. She stated that America is quite behind in certain types of infertility issues and that England and Australia are more progressive in their support systems for those that suffer in this manner.

There was a study done, I believe in Australia, that measured the stress levels for infertile couples/people and cancer patients. Infertile couples had higher levels of stress. WTH! The Doctor stated that the study revealed that secrecy plays a huge part in the stress levels. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, they often tell their family, friends, their jobs, and their social circles. When someone is diagnosed with infertility they don't tell anyone. I told my two best friend last August. We have been on this journey for years and they always thought that we were "enjoying trying". We finally told two church members last month when they kept asking during special praying time. Yet, we only told them infertility. They don't know which kind and which spouse has the issue.

Local news are always doing segments on Cancer survivors, but you won't see a segment on how to save your marriage (and sometimes life-suicide) when faced with infertility. Now don't go crazy on me and say that I'm comparing cancer to infertility. Cancer is a beast all on it's own. But infertility is often the cherry on top for cancer patients. It's the side effect for many medicines and procedures that people take to survive other health issues. Certain childhood diseases, surgeries and accidents might seem small and a great feat to overcome, but who would have thought that 15-20 years later they won't be able to reproduce?

With all that aside, we left the Doctor happy. Happy that we are mentally stable enough to more forward and happy that our path was clear enough to see an end. We will give the donation a try. We might do it once or twice, and then set our eyes and heart on adopting a child. We have alot of love and adventures to share. We are just getting started!


Monday, March 30, 2015

1 Stone to Kill Three *Things*

Life has been so crazy for me. In February, I began a second job (I got rid of the retail job in January) and then was offered a third job. I know, 3 jobs, but a lot of money has to be paid in the next month and I needed a way to get it. Well God heard our cried for the need of money because my husband was promoted the first week of Feb also!

Here's my crazy schedule:

MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
Tax Accountant8-1pm8-1pm8-1pm8-1pm9-4pm
Accountant8-5pm
Program Manager2-7pm2-6pm2-3:30pm4-5:30pm
Church6-8pm9-12:30pm

This will last for about another month. So to think about it, this has been my schedule from Feb-April. May-August will look a little like this:

MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
Tax Accountant???
Accountant8-5pm
Program Manager2-3p?11-noon10-11a
Church9-11:30pm

The question marks mean that my managers are thinking of adding some time on the schedule for me. 

I am truely excited for the craziness because for the first time since I returned to America, I am using my degrees. I have been working in the marketing sector for the last 7 years, though it was fun, it really wasn't my calling. My husband will often say that I can't stop thinking of numbers and money. It is true. I don't obsess and rave about needing more money. I more-or-less keep figuring out ways to save money here and there to travel, have fun, prepare for the baby and future.

These three jobs and Hubby's promotion has allowed us to relax and put our mind where it was suppose to be...on God and our future children.


Thursday, January 22, 2015

Can't Progress

It's a large pill to swallow knowing that my husband and I need to find thousands of dollars in order to have a family. Most couples only need to prevent from buying a $8 pack of condoms to start their family. We missed that fun boat. It hurts knowing that no matter what we do, we won't qualify for any reproductive assistance. That means Clomid, IVF or anything similar. So we save $12,000 there.

Our donor said that we can try once. Yes, only once. Did you know that the average rate of getting pregnant each month is 16%-18%.? It's the cheapest option, but its a can of worms that might not be worth opening. An anonymous donor is still $1200 for the first month and $950 for every month there after. No insurance won't cover it!

On the other hand we can't celebrate too much, because starting at $16,000 we can begin an adoption. Well actually it's more than that because out shitty ass apartment won't qualify. The building is not insulated well and the cigarette smoke from the first floor is creeping up through the floors. Our place always smells including our clothes. So we need money to rent a new place and deep clean out 3 month old couch. Our lease is up in July, that's half of 2015 gone by then.

Don't feel sorry for us yet!

The major factor in all this is the money. We have found grants to apply for with many having the home study completed as the first requirement. For those that don't know, home studies costs $3000-$6000, depending on the agency. So do we wait until July to start the home study so that we are in a better apartment, or do we start the process while being in the current place? Will they deny us because of the smoke smell? Technically we can't start anything until we get $3000....Ugh! One grant we qualify for isn't rewarded until October. More time...

My Husband and I have been together for 10 years and trying to get pregnant for 4 years. 

We are going to withdraw from our couple's group. Everyone has either just given birth in the last 3 months or is pregnant. We have other newly pregnant friends too. Nothing shouts fun like sitting around listening to birth stories, diaper comparisons and the funniest and newest thing the baby did. There's definitely something in the water and we can't seem to get any of it. It's emotionally more than we can bare right now. I would love to not have to see another pregnant woman until I have my own child. But life isn't done teasing us.

We are lost, angry and too poor to afford to progress.

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