Thursday, July 17, 2014

Choices for a Change

Mr. Mind and I have been presented with a few choices to start a family. We did our best to prepare ourselves to hear these steps, but we are stuck on what to do.

1. Adoption
   a. Domestic
   b. International

2. Donor
  a. Relative
  b. Unknown

3. Focus on Ourselves (we added this)

I spent over three hours talking with my cousin who adopted a beautiful baby girl 3 years ago. She explained in detailed the long process, the emotions and how much energy it took. Money was and will always be a factor in everything that we do, but she stated that it is only to our advantage to compare every agency and their terms. That's where the money comes to play. Soon I will speak to an aunt that adopted a beautiful baby girl 9 years ago. Her perspective will be different because my aunt is in a different state from my cousin and the agencies were different. International adoption fits me and my life-long desire and passion to learn different cultures, languages and travel, but it's unfeasible at the moment.

The topic of donor is one all to unfamiliar with everyone around us. Speaking of 'donors' sparks a strange light in everyone. Some people cringe with the idea while others are just clueless in its requirements. Mr. Mind and I tossed around the idea for a day and then dropped it, only to bring it back up a few days later. A donor, rather known or related means that someone else is contributing to 50% of our child. That 50% is enough to make one of us feel left out, enough to feel useless. But I don't want that to be the case. I want both of us to be involved in this process just as much as a natural conception. Maybe that's not possible.... Using a donor is a weird concept that allows us to 'play God' by mulling over a thousand attributes of the donor. Do we want brown eyes and black hair or green eyes and brown hair? Do we want multicultural or multiracial? Do we want someone that eats a certain way or attended college? Everything that encompasses a person can show up in the offspring, right? We'll be too picky.

The third choice we are facing is just sit back and focus on us. After 22 months of TTC, we have finally got an answer to our infertility and now we can relax. I read a wonderful book called Making Babies by Dr.Sami S. David and he provides a wonderful breakdown to various situations that cause infertility and how they can be resolved without IVF or resolved when IVF didn't work. So our plan is to try acupuncture, yes, both of us. He gets a needle, I get a needle, we all get a needle! (in my best Oprah voice) Dr. David suggests that with acupuncture, the body will be able to recovery from blockage, stress induced problems, hormonal imbalances and more. We have nothing to lose, (perhaps money) so we will try it. We will also enjoy a health dose of vitamins from the highly recommended company Fairhaven Health. Everyone raves about FertilAid in the TTC world. Then we will re-add working out to the list. Lite yet adequate workouts should help us to continue to lose weight and ready our bodies to make babies. We will also take a trip or two to a counselor. Yes, counselors need counseling once in a while. Our marriage has been strong during this infertility struggle and we want to keep it like that! For the next three months, we will work hard on ourselves.

We are well aware what the doctors told us, but we feel that there is always a small possibility of conceiving on our own. The least we can do, is take a few months and work on us. No more trying to conceive, but trying to get better and be better. More focus on improving us. We will still seek out adoption introduction classes and learn more about donors, but it will be done methodically.

Cheers to us My Love for our future is full of choices for the most significant change of our lives!

From, Maruki

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Ocean Side Fun

#2- See the Pacific Ocean

I was going through my 30 While 30 list, and I noticed that I nearly forgot about our travels to Costa Rica. That trip was our wonderful honeymoon. We spent 10 days basting in the sun and running in and out of the Pacific Ocean. The sun drenched sand was only a few short steps from our one bedroom suite. We went in May, the beginning of the off-season, and was among just a handful of people on the resort. Every time we went into town, we were with locals instead of other tourists. I loved that!
We took a relaxing boat ride out in the bay and went snorkeling. I loved the snorkeling part of the trip as well as the seafood lunch, but I was quickly paralyzed by seasickness. The smallest rock in a boat and I'm hunched over trying to keep my head from spinning off. My new husband thought it was fun to snap a picture of me while I was waiting for the seasick pill to kick in. It's ok, but I got a picture of him scared to death to get in the water to snorkel.

Food in Costa Rica was enough of a reason to return year after year. Since there were only a few tourists around, we got to enjoy conversations with locals, many were Ex-Canadians and we learned about this lovely restaurant that's attached to a tiny hotel within a neighborhood. Once we arrived, the restaurant announced that it's BOGO sangria night. We took a couple of those alongside paella. The paella was so delicious, that we wanted to bathe it in, perhaps it was the sangria talking.

This picture is an example of a typical Costa Rican breakfast. We could not believe how yummy was red beans and rice. We have had them from New Orleans plenty of times, but the spices were so different. You got to try it. The tortilla [in the middle] was delicious with the plantain and sausage. Every morning included a basket of breads and a bowl of fruit. My honeymoon was when I learned that I am allergic to papaya as my lips and tongue swelled to an uncomfortable state.

We traveled through out Costa Rica and landed in the mountain region for the remainder of our trip. Once again, we were nearly alone at the resort. We went into town and chatted with locals that knew enough English and didn't mind Mr. Mind's broken Spanish. We got private tours, not that we paid for them, but because no one else was there. We even went on a long hike, (I think it was 5 miles) down the side of a mountain to get to a wonderful waterfall. We splashed around in the water before realizing that we had to go back the same way we came...not fun!
Perhaps next summer, Mr. Mind and I can go back to the Pacific Ocean in California or Washington. But for now, I am satisfied knowing that I completed another 30 Before 30, with my husband and loved it!


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