Thursday, October 1, 2015

Losing Friends

I believe that I have been losing friends over the past few years. I can not believe how our infertility has effected others. Hubby and I were standing in the hallway chatting with some friends when another couple walked up. That couple mentioned something from a group picnic they all attended. One of my friends quickly threw in "It was a get together for the kids." That meant to me that we were not invite because we don't have kids.

Fast forward two years and Hubby and I have noticed that we have been excluded quite often. Parenthood has turned into a secret society that only the fertile or those who adopt are allowed to join. There are special events and even a secret language. I noticed that pride and gloating go hand and hand for parents and I can't do that unless I cross the bridge. Don't mention anything obvious or people will look like you are crazy. I worked in a day care for two years and taught English as a second language for two years to babies and toddlers. It's not special that your kid rolled over, crawled or said 'dada' at 11 months old. Get over yourself!

One thing that I didn't expect to learn was that people feel uncomfortable around us because we can't conceive. It's been four long years and I have been excluded from picnics to luncheons to amusement parks. Well, I'm sorry to all those that felt the desire to exclude me. You should have felt ashamed when you sent over 11 invitations to your baby showers. Now those are events that infertility women would love to skip. It truly hurts to see a growing belly, tiny baby booties, and soft blankets. It's not the same as seeing a happy child go down a slide or run around a mall.

Having a few friends that don't have children would at least insure that every conversation is not about diapers and spit-up. But hey, I don't have children so what do I know. Only two other ladies with kids know about our infertility in details. So, it really intrigues me as to why we aren't invited. What happens if we just don't want kids. Does that mean we are only subjected to hanging out with wild 20 year old and 50 year old with adult children our age? Wow! That was depression just typing it...

I'm just curious on the number of friends that will come back around and invite us when I'm finally pregnant or adopt. Am I allowed to join your little picnics then? Can we sit at the same table then? Little do they know, I might say 'no thank you'. I don't want my kid picking up your family's bad habits.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Excitement Brewing

"Are you going to have a kid or what?"

This was a comment said to me by the same little girl (mentioned months ago) from Church. She is eagerly waiting for us to adopt a child. She knew we mentioned it a little over a year ago and now she wants some action. I can't believe that we are being rushed by a 6 year old!

This week I made the trek to the doctors office for the third IUI. My husband had a meeting and couldn't change the time. As I sat in the waiting room alone, I texted Mr. Mind back and forth on what was happening in the office. Once I got into the room, I was able to relax as I laid on the table. The nursed explained everything and five minute later she was done.

The hope of a family began to take over. Love swelled in my heart and eyes. I couldn't believe that in 15 minutes I would be either on my way to be a mother or not. I cringed when the timer went off. I feared that I didn't get to stay long enough. I couldn't help but to think, does the 'specimen' need more time to travel? Should I stay there longer? So, I stole another 5 minutes. I wish doctor's offices paint a mural on the ceiling because it would give us patients something to focus upon. It could actually, yet temporarily distract us.

I have to wait two weeks until I can test for pregnancy. Little does my doctor knows, I will start testing in a week. Who can wait an longer than that! Wish me luck!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Another New Place

We have been on the hunt for another new place for two months now. We tolerated this apartment all winter and won't spend another winter in it. We spent so much time last summer picking what we thought was a family home. We wanted to bring our first born home here and hopefully our second if we hadn't bought a home by then. We were confronted with a host of lies and surprises since we moved in.

What we failed to notice:

1. The landlords placed air fresheners all around the front door of the duplex and the hallway. We thought it was because they were painting. No, it was because the front porch contains (still there) a fire hazard worth of junk from the downstairs neighbor and friend. The friend (more on that later) finally cut up one urine soaked rug and washed two others that have hug outside all winter over the wood fence. YUCK!

2. No HEAT the first week of January. Did I ever mention that we live in Minnesota? We didn't have heat for a week and the landlord asked us to buy a space heater until she can fix it. They came over with a hair dryer to "melt the pipes". The wife left her space heater the second day after kindly letting us know it was her Christmas present. I really didn't care who gave her what, we were freezing. They finally hired someone on day 5 when we threatened to leave this apartment and have them send our deposit check to the lawyers.

3. The friend from above isn't a friend that "hangs around" he actually lives in the downstairs unit. The landlord acted surprised when we told her that him and his loud dog have taken over the tiny backyard. He doesn't clean up after the dog nor is it on a leash. The landlords said that he just visits but come to find out that he makes tenant #3 in a two bedroom apartment.

4. Smoke! The landlord forgot to tell us about all the smoking the lower tenants partake in. They smoke cigarettes and weed like it's no tomorrow. And since my husband is asthmatic, and we want to see tomorrow, we are going to leave.

5. Old and Nasty Bathroom. We knew that the bathroom was a little old but that's not the problem. The problem is that the landlord knows that the tub backs up and taught how to plunge it every month to get the water to flow smoothly. That's disgusting and they are beyond lazy. They don't want to fix it at all.

6. Mickey Mouse is in the House. The landlords were called twice for the two mice that ran around our apartment for a month. Their response "did you lay down traps?" We were living here for less than 6 months and had the rudest visitors.

7. Cherry on top. We were informed about the "nursing home" across the street and how they would get a visit from the ambulance nearly every day. We thought we could manage that. But what were not informed of was the fact that it's nothing more than a low income housing building that the police, ambulance and fire department is dispatched there 3 times a day on average. Nothing ever seems to happen but they make a lot of noise all night and day long!!!!

8. Broken doesn't mean fix, it means ignore. The landlords know of the leaky attic, the loud broken ceiling fan, all the screens that fell out the screened in porch, the unpainted rooms when we moved in and the unfinished wood floors. They have done nothing to fix these issues.

9. They only come by for a rent pick-up. We receive monthly text messages to kindly place our rent check in the mailbox. It's no way I can live with someone bothering me monthly for rent. We always paid rent on time without reminders and then we come into this slumlord's space and now she thinks we need a gentle reminder...every...single...month!

So now you see why this apartment duplex is a one year and done kind of place. We can not stay any longer. We fulfilled our responsibility of one year and we ran away to somewhere nicer, quieter, cleaner and smoke free August 1st!

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