Monday, June 8, 2015

A Mother's Day Wish

On April 27, I hurried my way into the infertility clinic with my husband high on my heels. We headed to the first office to verify insurance and then down the hall to the beautifully decorated doctor's office. Mr. Mind and I were one of four couples waiting to be seen. All the women in the room knew what we were in there for. We all want children and this was the humble place to get them.

The nurse called my name and we both popped up like turkey timers. Right to the room we went. I verified everything from name, age, cycle ending date, ovulation date, and donor information. With the nurse waiting outside the room, I hopped on the table and laid back. (Why do they leave the room when they are going to see everything anyway?) The nurse came in, did the procedure in 10 minutes and told me to lay still for 15 minutes. "That's it?! Way too fast lady!"

Mr. Mind stood at my head the whole time, (nurse's suggestion) and didn't say much. He was squeezing my hand as though he was in pain. When she left the room, I squealed "Ok, it's over. Stop Squeezing!!" We said a prayer for this tremendous step we took and the health and life of the potential baby before laying for 25 minutes. Yeah, I stole an extra 10 minutes in that room!

I got dressed and gathered all my things and walked out the doctor's office clinching my uterus tightly. It resulted in a funny walk, but who cares. I had something more precious that gold in there and I wanted to leave it there!

The two week wait was not too bad. I was super nervous the next day after the procedure but life returned to normal. Friday May 8, I ran to the bathroom to test for pregnancy. Mother's Day was two days away and I wanted to know that I was pregnant. I received a negative on the test. No fear, I'll try again on Sunday. Sunday morning, Mother's Day, Mr. Mind gave me a very sweet card recognizing that day as my first Mother's Day. My mother-in-law and one of my brother-in-law called and wished me a happy day also. Everyone believed that I would get a positive test. However I stood in the bathroom with a pregnancy test with only one line. The cycle was to end the next day and I was not getting a positive test.

Per doctor's request, I went into the office of the 14th day after the procedure for a blood test, Monday. A half an hour later I got a call saying I was not pregnant. Shock, stunned and hurt. But no tears fell. I informed my husband and he was angrier than I. Stating he doesn't understand why. We spent the whole evening sort of silent. We spoke about tv shows and food.

Later that night, trying to sleep, I asked him the lay his hand on my empty womb and say a prayer. In all things, give thanks and that's what we did with tears finally falling.

We will have to do this all over again. The money and time spent worrying about doing this procedure was back upon us. No baby for the Johnstree Family and our mother's didn't have a great Mother's Day because I wasn't a Mother (yet)...

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Spring Cleaning

Stop in the Name of Spring!

Don't let another week go by without adjusting your home to a lighter and brighter time of the year. There are a few steps to take that will make the next two weeks a smooth transition from winter to summer. (For those in the south that have been experiencing warmer weather through out March, you can ignore the previous statement.)

So get your mops ready ladies- It's Spring Cleaning Time!

Day One:

Clean the Freezer and Fridge

Step One- Clear off the counters and Kitchen table. This will allow you to pull everything out the freezer.

Step Two-Grab an empty trash bag. This should be ready just in case you pull out some UFF (unidentified funky foods) !

Step Three- Grab and Sort. Place all identified foods on the counters and table. If you don't know what it is, make a separate pile. If its too old to figure it out, you can always defrost it and decide rather to eat it.

Step Four- The Empty Vessel Gets Scrubbed! That means chip away all the ice build-up with a knife, or screw driver (hubby hates when I use that). Scoop it all into the sink/tub/outside and give the freezer a nice wipe down. A little dishsoap or vinegar wash will do the trick.

Step Five-Resort It. Don't just through everything back inside. Gather all your veggies and fruits. Can you enjoy these this week? If not, place them in the freezer. If so, place in the fridge for meal prep. Meat that's near the 6 month mark should get more careful consideration. Defrost it and cook it this week.You might not have to grocery shop this week because you had everything in the freezer. Everything else that needs to return to the freeze should go back but in a fashion that anyone can find something.

**Do you have a bunch of tiny items such as single popsiles or lunch bag ice packs? Head to the dollar store and grab a plastic container. Place all these small items inside and bring some organization to the frozen hole.

Return to Step One and work on your fridge. Don't forget to check the expiration dates on condiments. Make a list of all the items that need to be repurchased and buy them when they go on sale.

Here in my state, it is very common for people to buy a quarter, half and even whole cow, pig and lamb. If you don't clean up and organize now, you won't have space for your summer bounty.
I hope this helps jump start your cleaning process before summer arrives. Try the pantry and cupboard next. Get rid of the over flowing plastic cups and bowls that hold on to germs better than super glue.

Make your summer a sunny, and clutter free one!

Monday, April 6, 2015

A Better Attitude

If you read my post in January, you would have noticed how angry I was for not being able to start our family. Well, February and March has sung a new bright song that will be played out in April. Hubby and I were blessed with the ability to save some money to begin the first round of donation. We are holding our breaths that it would take on the first round. However, we are in a much better spot mentally. We had to see a reproductive/infertility psychologist. Ever heard of one of those? My husband is a social worker and was shocked that infertility is a field to go into. (I see another doorway in the future!)

This Doctor sat us down and went over every possible social and emotional issue that derives from infertility. She gave us an assortment of books to read and websites to visit. I was stunned to learn that not many of them are American sites. She stated that America is quite behind in certain types of infertility issues and that England and Australia are more progressive in their support systems for those that suffer in this manner.

There was a study done, I believe in Australia, that measured the stress levels for infertile couples/people and cancer patients. Infertile couples had higher levels of stress. WTH! The Doctor stated that the study revealed that secrecy plays a huge part in the stress levels. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, they often tell their family, friends, their jobs, and their social circles. When someone is diagnosed with infertility they don't tell anyone. I told my two best friend last August. We have been on this journey for years and they always thought that we were "enjoying trying". We finally told two church members last month when they kept asking during special praying time. Yet, we only told them infertility. They don't know which kind and which spouse has the issue.

Local news are always doing segments on Cancer survivors, but you won't see a segment on how to save your marriage (and sometimes life-suicide) when faced with infertility. Now don't go crazy on me and say that I'm comparing cancer to infertility. Cancer is a beast all on it's own. But infertility is often the cherry on top for cancer patients. It's the side effect for many medicines and procedures that people take to survive other health issues. Certain childhood diseases, surgeries and accidents might seem small and a great feat to overcome, but who would have thought that 15-20 years later they won't be able to reproduce?

With all that aside, we left the Doctor happy. Happy that we are mentally stable enough to more forward and happy that our path was clear enough to see an end. We will give the donation a try. We might do it once or twice, and then set our eyes and heart on adopting a child. We have alot of love and adventures to share. We are just getting started!

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